I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
