I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
