I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
