Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
