you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize