im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize