they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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