youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
so much tequila, so little girl.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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