he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
