He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
