No awkward lesbian experiences without me
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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