I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
