her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
