No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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