Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You've changed since you got that strap on
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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