shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize