She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
