During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Is Oprah even human
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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