bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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