the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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