So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize