idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
