Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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