I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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