just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She bit a glass in half.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
