So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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