His hands were made for my vagina.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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