And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
