If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Bring me that man meat
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
