just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
