Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
