Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
