her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
