Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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