Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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