I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
