We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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