I wish I could punch you in the face.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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