this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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