Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
