We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
