as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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