I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
