what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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