In the future we'll all be gay
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize