I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
