And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
