She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
