dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
party gras won. party gras always wins.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
