Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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