Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
