Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
