the new term for farting is butt boxing.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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