did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Sober January is a disaster.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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