i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
