Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
