i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
