so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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