I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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