we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Randomize
