is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My ATM looks so different sober.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
