Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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