Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
